Jessica Lynch

Jessica Lynch

Real Name: Jessica Lynch
A.k.a:
Submitted by: Mr. Nostalgia
Posted Date: 2003-09-14
Last Modified: 2020-01-24

In America, you are just as likely to be labelled a hero for screwing up and surviving as you are for actually doing something heroic. Case in point: Jessica Lynch, who basically took a wrong turn while on a supply detail, wound up in enemy territory, got caught and was taken prisoner.
She was rescued in an appropriately timed April 1st operation in which she was first described in the media as a female Rambo: all but shooting her way out in an act of supreme heroism. As more details emerged the escape seemed less spectacular each passing day.

She was honourably discharged from the military and it didn’t take her long to ink a book deal for $1,000,000 amid much speculation as to whether or not she even remembers enough of her ordeal to fill a book.

What happened to:

It now remains to be seen whether she will pander to cult of celebrity and try to become glamorous, or humbly get on with her life.
Best Case Scenario: She uses the money shrewdly, paying off any debts, perhaps buying a home or investing wisely and laying the basis of a respectable retirement nest egg. Then continues with her original career plan of becoming a kindergarten teacher.
Worst Case Scenario: The money and the fame go to head and she tries to become a bona fide celebrity. Scrounging for roles in bad B-movies, short-lived television sitcoms; perhaps culminating in a guest host spot on Saturday Night Live or maybe a forthcoming Survivor series set in some place like Afghanistan.

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Jessica Lynch

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